5 Tips for New Moms of Multiples

twin babies Google images 5 Tips for Moms with Multiples

Having a baby changes your life. Having more than one baby can lead you to feel as if your life has been turned upside down and inside out! Here are five tips for new parents with multiples:

1.) Re-think your idea of “clean”  Before having twins, I could clean my entire three bedroom two bath home in eight hours or less. I could be ready for company quickly and easily. After having twins, I felt frustrated that I could no longer have my house clean (the way I wanted it to be) in less than a day. I also had to re-think what “clean” meant to me. Did I want to run myself ragged? My twins didn’t sleep much until they were five months old. Did I want to waste a precious potential hour’s sleep by cleaning? Or ought I rest instead? (Hint: choose rest!). As long as the home is sanitary, sleep and rest are more important. When we are sleep deprived, we can feel more easily frustrated, irritated and have less patience. When we welcome our children into our lives, we want to give them the very best. Giving them well rested parents who are patient, kind and loving trumps a spotless home any day.

2.) Support

What is support? It means having family, friends, or professional assistance so you can connect with other people who love and care about you and your family. It means support so that you could arrange a run to the grocery store by yourself, (if you enjoy that),or  being able to have an appointment for yourself without having to have your multiples with you. Of course we love our children, and at the same time, we also need others to talk with and lend us a helping hand from time to time. What if you need to see your doctor?  It can be quite challenging managing your own appointment while you have your infant multiples with you (will your multiple stroller even fit in the tiny examining room?)  It’s important to have a list of folks you feel comfortable calling so that you and your spouse can have a regular date night. Some families swap babysitting with each other, i.e. I’ll watch your kids this Friday so you can go out, and you’ll watch mine on Saturday so I can go out.  A local multiples club is also a great support. In Orlando, we have The Greater Orlando Mothers of Twins and Triplets Club (GOMOTT), www.GOMOTT.org  There is a national organization for parents of multiples also called the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club,  www.nomotc.org. If there is no multiples club is in your area, you could either start one or connect to others through internet based meetings.

3.) Date Night

After you have children, it’s easy to switch the focus from your spouse to your children. Dads especially can be prone to feeling shoved aside when children arrive. It’s important to continue to put your marriage first. Working on your marriage, regularly, is invaluable. Regular date nights are important. They don’t have to be expensive – it’s not about what you spend. It’s about taking the time to talk together and reconnect with each other. A weekly date night would be ideal, even if it’s just a long walk around your block.

4.) Let go of your “should’s”

As a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, I spend much time with my clients examining their self-talk. We frequently tell ourselves “I should…” and then a list follows. Just as I had to re-think my personal definition of “clean,”, I also had to re-think how many things I could accomplish in a day. With multiples, I went from being able to accomplish quite a bit in a day to just a few things each day, in addition to taking care of my family. When I feel tempted to pile on more than I can possibly do, then feel bad about not getting everything accomplished, I remind myself that my children are only little for a short while. When they are teens,  I’ll have plenty of time to run my errands the way I prefer to do them. For now, I’ll focus on being present with my family, and enjoy the blessings of each day. I don’t want to waste my precious energy worrying about what I “should” do.

5.) Take good care of yourself

You work hard to teach your children their ABC’s, to eat healthy foods, to count, to use the potty on their own, and so much more. When you don’t rest, don’t eat, don’t sit down, and so on, you are teaching your children how to care for themselves (or how to not care for themselves.) When you go-go-go, remember that your children are watching you run yourself down. They are learning that this is normal and expected of them. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is teaching them how to care for themselves, by taking care of you. Setting a positive and healthy model of someone who believes she is important enough to get the sleep she needs, important enough to take the time to consume nourishing food, important enough to  take time to get some exercise, all work together to set up a positive model of health and confidence for our children to follow.

 

You may freely distribute this blog as long as you leave the Author’s name and contact information intact.

About the Author:

Laura Peddie-Bravo, LMHC, NCC is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor practicing in Winter Park, Florida. She is the Mother of Boy/Girl Twins and “Twingle.” Laura works with a variety of issues such as Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Domestic Violence, PTSD, Personality Disorders, Eating Disorders, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, and Chronic Medical Issues. Laura provides Individual, Couples and Family Counseling. To schedule a free consultation, please call The Bravo Counseling Group at 407-222-6239.

LPB Professional Photo

 

The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC and Email

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The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC and Email

The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC takes your privacy seriously. As you likely know, emails are not a secure form of communication. Emails are, however, extremely convenient. While The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC would like to make your counseling experience as convenient to you as possible, in order to protect your confidentiality, we have created some restrictions on how we send and receive information.

Regarding email: Our email address will be changing from LauraPeddieBravoLMHC@gmail.com to Laura@TheBravoCounselingGroup.com. This change will occur in order to utilize a business email account with a HIPAA business partner agreement with the email provider, which is Gmail/Google. (If you would like to read more about HIPAA, you may visit this website: http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/).

If you desire to schedule and reschedule appointments via email (or text message), you are welcome to do so. We simply require a release of information form in order to be able to provide this for you. Remember, you control your information including if and how it can be shared. Emails or texts which simply schedule appointments do not require encryption, but they can be encrypted if you would like.

If you love the convenience of email, and if you do not mind if your emails are not 100% confidential, you remain able to send private information to The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC, however, you will need to fill out a special release of information form for this. According to The Person Centered Tech, http://www.personcenteredtech.com/, clients are able to choose to disregard HIPAA if that is their choice. The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC, however, cannot disregard HIPAA (and HITECH) changes, without a release of information and documenting the client’s wishes. That means you may email your confidential information to The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC, but, The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC cannot respond in kind. The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC must use encryption when sending emails which contain confidential information.

Using encryption is fairly simply. If you use Gmail, for example, you would need to open your Gmail email account in Google Chrome. Google Chrome provides free encryption. Additionally, your counselor will have to ask you a question which only you would know the answer to. It is also recommend to make this question and answer tricky, for example: “What is your favoriate color?” and your answer may be the city you were born, i.e. “Orlando.” Before sending confidential emails back and forth, you and your counselor will work out some questions and answers that only you would know. Likewise, if you want to encrypt your confidential information before sending to your counselor, you and s/he will need to work out a question and answer so that s/he will be able to unlock your email.

In sum, The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC wishes to provide you the most convenient counseling process possible, along with doing the utmost to protect your confidentiality.

If you have any questions about The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC and email, please do not hesitate to contact us at 407-222-6239.

The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC Christmas & New Year’s Hours

new year

Greetings! May each of you enjoy a wonderful Christmas and New Year!

While I’ve spoken with many, this is a reminder that The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC will be open Monday, 12/23/13, and then closed for vacation 12/24/13 through 1/5/14. Appointments are already filling up for the second week of January, 1/6/14, and if you would like to schedule, please feel free to leave a message on the office phone: 407-222-6239 and your call will be returned on Monday, 1/6/14.

As a reminder, The Bravo Counseling Group, LLC is not a provider of crisis services. If you are in crisis, please call 911.  If you feel you are not in “crisis” but strongly desire someone to talk to, you may call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Here is their website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Merry Christmas!

Laura Peddie-Bravo, LMHC, NCC

Owner

Colorado Shootings and Trauma; Tips to Cope With Tragedy

Upon wakening today, many of us saw the horrific news that at least 12 people, and perhaps as many as 50 others were wounded while watching the latest “Batman” movie.  According to multiple news reports, the movie had only been playing for about 20 minutes, when a gas-masked gunman threw some sort of smoke grenade, and then began shooting innocent people. What can we do in the face of such horror? Here are a few tips for dealing with trauma and tragedy, once the immediate danger has cleared.

1. When in a safe place, relax: Relaxing doesn’t mean having a drink or some other mind altering substance. Relaxing means either being with people if that relaxes you, or going to a quiet place and allowing the shock and emotions to bubble up to the surface. Using a substance to “relax” will only complicate and delay dealing with the trauma.

2. Talk about it: It doesn’t matter if your loved ones have heard the story 20 times, it is important to talk about it until you have talked about it enough for you, though you may look for more than one person to share the experience with. Friends, support groups, and/or faith based groups can be some good options. Holding it in can make a person’s trauma reactions worse.

3. Express yourself: Express yourself in an appropriate manner, however you like. Maybe you’ll need to write about your experience in a blog, article, or journal. Maybe you will create art which represents your experience or your reactions to it. However you choose to express yourself, it is important, like talking about it, to allow your expressions to come out of you.

4. Exercise: Physical exercise can be immensely helpful and people may experience relief from exercise. Exercise can literally work stress hormones out from the body. Reduction in stress hormones can help a person feel more relaxed and calm. Someone may want to exercise multiple times in one day in order to keep the stress hormone at bay. (Note: Please visit your doctor first if you are not used to vigorous exercise.)

5. Handle trauma at your own pace: Everyone is different. There are people who will experience trauma and appear “fine” immediately afterwards. Others will be mildly affected. There will also be those who are tremendously impacted. It is important not to compare your response to trauma with another person. We are each unique people with different ways of responding and coping. Comparing your trauma reactions to someone else may make you feel worse.

When working with clients who have experienced trauma, I like to suggest to them to act as if they have the flu; get plenty of rest, drink plenty of liquids, and cut yourself some slack when you just are not up to doing your usual routine. We give each other grace when we are sick, and I would encourage those who are dealing with tragedy and trauma to give themselves grace. Healing will come, and it will take some time. If someone’s reaction to trauma is beyond these tips, please consider seeing a professional for assistance. There are medical doctors and counselors who are trained in how to help people suffering from intense traumatic reactions. Some additional resources are listed below.

United States Department for Veterans Affairs: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/treatment-ptsd.asp

National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/helping-children-and-adolescents-cope-with-violence-and-disasters-rescue-workers/what-is-trauma.shtml

National Alliance for Mental Illness: http://www.nami.org/

About the author: Laura Peddie-Bravo is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Nationally Certified Counselor for over ten years. She has worked extensively with victims of physical and sexual abuse, victims of crime, and more.  You may schedule a free 15 minute complimentary call by phoning 407-222-6239.

You can also connect with Laura via Facebook and Twitter @LPBShrink

All or portions of this article may be reprinted as long as the author’s name and contact information remain intact.

The End of the Space Shuttle Program – Five Tips To Cope With Grief

Many of us are saddened that today, July 21st, 2011, marks the end of the NASA Space Shuttle program. Atlantis landed safely this morning, and this particular shuttle will remain in Florida.  People’s lives are significantly affected by the end of the shuttle program. The Orlando Sentinel, (www.Orlandosentinel.com), estimated that approximately 9,000  people who worked with the space shuttle will be losing their jobs. Combined with the grief of the loss of the shuttle program, and faced with a new career move, the stress and sadness could be overwhelming. Not only the employees are affected, but the surrounding communities will lose income and may be forced to close. People in the state of Florida, and beyond, are sad this program is over. Many of us who live in Florida may have taken for granted seeing the shuttle launches from Kennedy Space Center and deeply regret never going to see one live.

The following is a list of symptoms people typically experience when faced with significant loss or intense stress. This list is not exhaustive, and if your symptom is distressing and is not listed, please seek additional suggestions:

  • sadness
  • irritability or anger
  • easily distracted or unable to concentrate
  • insomnia
  • isolating
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • suicidal thoughts

If you or a loved one is currently experiencing one or more of those symptoms, here are some tips to cope:

  • Acknowledge how you feel; ignoring or stuffing emotions may make you feel worse
  • Talk about how you feel with trusted relative or friend
  • Take extra good care of yourself, i.e. three nutritious meals per day, set aside time for sleep, exercise
  • Do your best to focus on the positive
  • Make an effort to incorporate humor into your life
  • Seek professional counsel for suicidal thoughts

If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, even passive ones, please seek assistance from a professional. You may turn to your primary care physician, a Mental Health Counselor, psychiatrist, or support group. You can find providers on your insurance panel by calling your insurance company. If you do no have insurance and cannot afford professional services, there are many resources available to you through charitable organizations. If you need help with additional resources, please do not hesitate to phone a professional counselor or social worker for potential referrals.

For more information about the future of our country’s space program, there’s the Kennedy Space Center and NASA. If you can’t visit The Kennedy Space Center, http://www.kennedyspacecenter.com/, you may want to check out the NASA website, www.NASA.gov and read “What’s Next for NASA?” While we are sad about the ending of the Space Shuttle Era, there are exciting plans already made and being made to continue our exploration of space.

About the Author:

Laura Peddie-Bravo, LMHC, NCC is a licensed and nationally certified counselor. Laura grew up in Orlando, FL, and works with children, adolescents and adults for a variety of mental health issues including grief, anxiety and depression. Laura operates from an overall Wellness perspective, and practices an eclectic style of counseling with a focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, (CBT). Laura believes positive change is possible in all who seek it, and she enjoys the privilege to work with all who walk through her door.